I want to assume that you know that we live in a culture obsessed with outcomes. We celebrate success stories but we skip the struggle or at least for most people, that is what they do. We admire the victory but ignore the discipline that made it possible, and so everyone wants the reward, but not so many want the routine that earns it.
And this is where disappointment is born: To crave the result while rejecting the process is to desire an illusion. Results do not exist independently; they are the natural consequence of consistent effort, patience, and refinement. When we fixate on outcomes without embracing the journey that produces them, frustration becomes inevitable.
Results Are Built, Not Granted
Every meaningful result is constructed slowly, and because it is slow it can feel invisible. And what appears sudden to the outside observer is usually the product of long preparation.
- Strength comes from repeated resistance.
- Skill comes from repeated practice.
- Wisdom comes from repeated reflection.
- Character comes from repeated choices.
There are really no shortcuts that bypass the process without diminishing the outcome. When the process is skipped, the result, that is if it is achieved at all, can feel very hollow, unstable, or temporary.
Why We Resist the Process
The process is uncomfortable, and it demands:
- Patience without immediate reward
- Effort without recognition
- Consistency without excitement
- And what seems like faith without proof
Results are glamorous, and processes can be mundane and tiring, but life rewards what is repeated, not what is wished for. The very discomfort we try to avoid is what shapes us into people capable of sustaining the results we desire.
The more uncomfortable an activity is, the more likely it is to lead to expansion and growth; however, the more relaxed the activity, the more likely it is to cause stagnation. – Discomfort Razor
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The Process Shapes the Person
The true and greatest value of the process is not the result; it is the transformation of the individual. If you receive a result you are not prepared to maintain, it will eventually collapse. The process exists to prepare you for the responsibility of the outcome, because.
- Without discipline, success becomes arrogance.
- Without humility, achievement becomes fragile.
- Without endurance, progress becomes temporary.
The process does not just build the goal; it builds you.
I recently listened to an episode of a podcast on Daily Stoic: Why You Do This Work, in this episode, Ryan Holiday started by saying that there is an element of philosophy that is a lot of work, and that we do all this reading, do our morning and evening journaling. Maybe even attend meetup groups or even have pursued an advanced degree, or we’ve joined Daily Stoic Life and participate in discussions, or that we have discourse about Stoicism online wherever we can, and we went further to say that as rewarding as this might be, it’s also true that it comes at considerable commitment and expense, and this is precisely the part I want to talk about, the commitment and why we do the work.
Just as I asked myself just few seconds in the episode, Ryan Holiday went further to ask the exact same question, why should one do this? He talked about an exchange in Chicago, the new book by David Mamet (a fan of Stoicism), that captures the reasons well; where the characters, having found themselves on the wrong side of a mob war, are arming themselves and discussing where to hide a pistol for protection; then one reminds the other that “the one phrase you never want to use” when trouble arises, is “Wait here ‘till I fetch it.” Ryan Holiday went further to say in that episode that Marcus Aurelius would say something similar; that philosophy was designed to make us a boxer and not a swordsman, because a boxer is built with his weapon in hand(s) whereas a fencer has to fetch theirs.
Continue Reading: Why You Should Consistently Do The Work: Be The Boxer
Disappointment Comes From Misaligned Expectations
When we expect results without paying the price, reality feels unfair, but the disappointment is not caused by life; it is caused by expectation detached from effort.
We are disappointed when:
- We expect mastery without practice
- We expect trust without consistency
- We expect growth without discomfort
Because expectation must be aligned with effort, or disappointment will always follow.
Loving the Process is the Secret Advantage
Those who succeed long-term are not obsessed with outcomes; they are committed to the work. They learn to find meaning in:
- Showing up when motivation is absent
- Improving when progress is slow
- Persisting when results are invisible
This is definitely not romantic optimism; it is practical wisdom. When the process becomes the focus, results become inevitable rather than stressful.
The process protects you from false success. Many people achieve outcomes they can not sustain; they win the race but lose direction; they gain success but lose themselves.
The process acts as a filter; it ensures that only those willing to grow internally receive external reward. And when we respect the process, we protect ourselves from premature success and unearned outcomes.
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Conclusion
To crave the result without embracing the process is to desire something you are unwilling to become. Disappointment is not a mystery; it is the predictable outcome of avoiding the work while demanding the reward.
But when you commit to the process growth replaces frustration, discipline replaces impatience, and satisfaction replaces anxiety.
The result will come, not because you chased it, but because you earned it, and when it does, you will be ready to keep it.
