In today’s world that often demands immediate closure, we frequently find ourselves standing at the scene of our setbacks, waiting for a solution that will never arrive or arrive on time. Whether it is a failed relationship, a financial collapse, or a professional disappointment, the human instinct is to linger, to replay the tape, to assign blame, and to wait for a “repair” that feels as immediate as the damage.
But recently, I watched a video of the speaker Frank Ikemefune sharing a compelling story that challenges this instinct. Through the simple yet profound metaphor of a car accident on an expressway, he explores a universal truth: True repair never happens at the spot of the damage.
The Anatomy of the Accident
Frank begins with a relatable scene: Him and his friends driving on an expressway, minding their own business, when suddenly, bang. A collision from behind, and in an instant, the peace is shattered. There was shouting, the intervention of road authorities, and the realization that a significant financial and maybe emotional toll has been taken through no fault of their own.
This is the “incident.” In our lives, these are the moments that catch us off guard. We did not ask for the “hit,” yet we are the ones left with the wreckage. Frank’s story highlights that the initial reaction is so many many times one of external chaos, shouting and seeking immediate intervention. But however, it is what happens after the authorities leave and the adrenaline fades that determines our future. Do we move forward with our gaze ahead or gaze at the rearview mirror?
The Trap of the Rearview Mirror
As Frank and his friend drove away from the scene, he noticed his friend “stealing glances” at the rearview mirror,and this is also perhaps the most relatable part of the human experience. Even when we are physically moving away from a tragedy, our minds are so often anchored to it.
The rearview mirror represents our obsession with the “why.” Why did they hit me? Why did this happen now? How much is this going to cost me? While it is necessary to process an event, staring at the damage while trying to drive forward is a recipe for a second accident. You can not navigate your future if your eyes are permanently fixed on what you have already passed, like the mistakes and errors with regret.
The “Expressway” Paradox
And in my opinion the most striking point Frank makes is the nature of the location itself. An expressway is a place of transit, not a destination. But yet, when we are “hit” by life, we too many times treat the scene of the crime as a permanent residence.
Frank said in the video that no matter how bad the car looked, they had to move. And why is that? Because a mechanic is not coming to the middle of the expressway to do a full engine overhaul. Because the tools, the parts, and the expertise required for that type of restoration are found elsewhere.
And as such, in life, too many people make the mistake of expecting their healing to come from the person who hurt them or the situation that broke them. We stay in the “spot of damage,” waiting for the person who “hit” us to make it right, but and again, Frank’s insight is very very clear on this: The scene of the accident is for documentation, not for restoration. To get fixed, you have to get to the “garage,” the place of therapy, prayer, community, and self-reflection.
The Spectators and the Silence
Frank also describes a haunting or at the very least sad image: A person standing alone beside a damaged car on the road. Other drivers pass by, stealing glances, wondering why this person is just standing there, not calling for help, not hysterical, just standing.
Why it is haunting or at the very least sad is because this is the picture of stagnation. When we refuse to move forward, we become a spectacle of our own pain. The person who hit you has driven off; the sympathizers have gone home. The world continues to rotate at its usual velocity, but yet we remain standing in the exhaust fumes of our past.
So my dearest readers, is it not clear and obvious? That staying at the scene does not make the accident “un-happen.” It only ensures that we remain a victim of that moment forever or till we decide to leave the scene, to move ahead.
Leaving the Scene to Find the Healing
Healing requires the courage to “drag, carry or take whatever is left of the car” and move forward. You might not be moving at full speed. You might be driving “slowly and in silence,” as Frank and his friend did, but the direction is what matters: Forward!
Moving forward is an act of faith; it is an acknowledgment that while the damage is real, it is not the end of the journey. And restoration is a process that happens as we keep moving forward.
Conclusion
Again, my dearest readers; this is it, Frank Ikemefune’s message is a reminder that we have a choice in the aftermath of life’s collisions. We can remain at the scene, wishing the accident never happened, or we can leave the expressway and find the place where repair is possible.
And the refusal to let go of the incident means you never truly left the spot where you were hurt. Other cars have passed, and the sun has set and risen again; it is time to stop standing by the wreckage! Leave the expressway! Your repair is waiting for you further down the road!
