I don’t lie, I don’t tell lies! And when I say I don’t lie and I don’t tell lies, I don’t mean big lies, I mean any and every type of lie both small and BIG, inconsequential or NOT, I don’t tell. And this is NOT some reformed and transformational Christian attitude to seek and face the truth above all else or standing for truth regardless of how I feel, now, I am not saying that godliness and Christian character and values has nothing to do with it, it definitely has, and that is at the core but basically I just think I am too old to be lying, and my telling the truth is primarily for me, the type of person I present myself to be and the type of person I want to be, a truth-teller at all times.

But today being Sunday 30th of March 2025 I told a lie and before I get into that I know it obvious that we both know what a lie is at least when we tell, but the thing about lies is that they can both be obvious and subtle but we know when we are the ones telling it. And for the sake of this article let us define it.

Table of Contents

What Is a Lie – The Obvious

I believe we can both agree that a lie is, at its core, is a deliberate misrepresentation of the truth. It is the act of saying something that is not true, either to deceive, protect, manipulate, or sometimes even to spare the feelings of another. While lies can take many forms, the most obvious definition remains the same, a statement made with the intention to mislead.

Again, a lie is a false statement told with the knowledge that it is untrue, but say, if someone says something incorrect but genuinely believes it to be true, that is not considered a lie, it’s a mistake; the key distinction here is intent. The person who is telling a lie does so knowing the reality is different from what they are presenting.

Types of Lies – The Obvious Ones

Bold-Faced Lies

These are outright, undeniable lies, where the truth is completely ignored. Let’s say you caught someone in the act of wrongdoing but they are still denying it, yeah, that’s a typical example.

White Lies

These are often considered harmless, and are usually told to avoid hurting someone’s feelings or to make a situation smoother. You know saying “I love your cooking” when you don’t really mean it, Lol, this can be one of them.

Exaggerations

This is typically when you stretch the truth to make a story more interesting or to make yourself look better. “I’ve read that book five times!” when you’ve only really read it once, Lol.

Lies of Omission

Just not telling the full truth, leaving out important details that would change how someone perceives the situation.

What Is a Lie – The Subtle

While not all lies are bold and obvious, some are whispered between the lines, hidden in silence, or disguised as kindness. These are the subtle lies, the ones we often don’t recognize as falsehoods but that still shape our reality in ways we might not anticipate.

Lies of Omission: The Truth Left Untold

Sometimes, a lie is not about what we say, but what we choose NOT to say. When we withhold key details or let someone believe a false assumption without correcting them, we are engaging in deception just as much as if we had spoken an outright lie and falsehood.

Let’s say you tell a friend you were busy when you actually had time but didn’t feel like meeting up; the omission may seem harmless, but it distorts reality.

Self-Deception: The Lies We Tell Ourselves

Ths one of the most dangerous forms of lying is when we deceive ourselves, we convince ourselves that we’re fine when we’re struggling, that we don’t care when we really do care, or that a bad habit is not a problem; these lies seems like it protect us and if it does, it only in the in the short term but often come at the cost of self-awareness and growth in the long term.

A typical example would be “I don’t need to apologize; they were probably not that hurt.” This is a subtle way to avoid facing our own guilt.

Social Niceness: When Politeness Becomes a Lie

Some times and for some people most times they often tell small, innocent-looking lies for the sake of social harmony. We say “I’m doing great” when we’re not. We compliment someone’s outfit when we don’t actually like it. “Are these really lies?” You might ask and further say, “I was just being polite,” maybe yes and maybe not.

Another very good example will be you saying, “Let’s definitely catch up soon!” when you have no intention of following through.

Implied Falsehoods: When Words Mislead Without Being Untrue

This can seem smart but it can very much be very manipulative, this is when you say things in a way that leads others to the wrong conclusion without actually stating anything false, see how smart it looks, right? This is a gray area where truth and deception blur and unclear.

Take for example when you say in your application for a new job, “I worked closely with the CEO on strategic decisions,” when they only attended a few large meetings with the CEO present, Lol.

The Impact of Subtle and Obvious Lies

Subtle lies may not carry the same immediate consequences as blatant deception, but they shape our relationships, self-perception, and integrity. Over time, these small distortions of truth can add up, creating distance between who we are, who we present ourselves to be, and who we will like to be.

Remember when I said earlier that “my telling the truth is primarily for me, the type of person I present myself to be and the type of person I want to be, A TRUTH-TELLER AT ALL TIMES.”

One very important thing you should know is that even the simplest lie can have consequences, from breaking trust, to creating confusion, and this can quickly become a circle that leads to further lies to maintain the illusion. While some lies seem minor, they can weigh on our conscience, making us feel uneasy. The act of lying, even when small, separates us from our authenticity (if like me, you consider, see and believe yourself to be a truth teller at all times), and this is weight, the load and burden that comes from telling a lie is precisely why I’m writing this article.

So back again to the beginning, today being Sunday 30th of March 2025 I told a lie, if I know me on a personal level, I’m sure it is the anticipation of the lie I said I told that has kept you on the edge, but it’s most likely that you took my word for it, my word where I said don’t tell a lie, if which is true, so if you take my word for it, THANK YOU, but if you don’t, thank you and all is well.

So again what was the lie I told? Okay thank you for your patience, I’m a member of the media team in my church, if you don’t know, now you know, service starts by 8am and like other service unit in church our call time is 7am at most so we can set up cameras and all, I woke up very early like I always do, but I did not leave on time because I was waiting for power supply to come back on so I could iron my clothes, I called my team leader to notify him that I might take longer than I ought to, and I truthfully told him why.

But unfortunately, I stayed much longer than I expected and I wasn’ even able to iron my clothes, well I wore something else, but when I got to church one of my unit leader asked my why I was just coming and I said, Lol, I said, “I was waiting for my siblings because I was the only one with the one key to the house.”

The lie even though it seemed inconsequential:

I was NOT waiting for anybody.
I was NOT the only one with the key to the house.

As usual he sent me the list to the program structure, plan and timing because I handle the timing of program in church, simple, I was the only one the knew the truth and even though like I said it was very inconsequential, not only that but even if tomorrow he finds out I told a lie, what was the worst thing that could happen, he will say “I know you lied, brother Collins, please, repent and keep coming to church early like you always do, or usually do,” which is a good thing, Lol, but here is was the problem, that small, simple, short and seemingly inconsequential distortion of truth, in other words lie, it made me feel small, and very unsettled and I could not start let alone continue with ease the timing of the service segment, again it made me feel so unsettled, uneasy and small, though I timed the first worship segment of the service for 20 minutes or so, I had to go back to my unit leader to recount my story and told the truth.

Was it that I couldn’t have been able to shake off the feeling and continue with my day? Yeah, I could have, I could have told myself: “it’s nothing, don’t let this bother you, plus it’s just a one time thing,” I could have done that, I did not like the feeling of “small” but without a doubt I’m glad I am that type of person that my conscious comes burning hot in my soul, whenever I act out of character.

And I didn’t recount my story because of my unit leader or because I wanted him to praise me or so, I did it for myself, remember I told you earlier “my telling the truth is primarily for me, the type of person I present myself to be and the type of person I want to be, A TRUTH-TELLER AT ALL TIMES.”

Conclusion

And so I want to conclude with this; these lies, whether big or small, obvious or subtle, carry a weight that can burden our conscience, damage our relationships, and distort our sense of self and authenticity, even when a lie seems harmless or justified, it chips away at trust, the very foundation of every meaningful connection we have.

Our choosing to always tell the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable, is an act of integrity, you can build a part of your inner peace from the act, and yes, while the truth may sometimes be difficult to express, it ultimately frees us from the smallness, uneasy, anxiety and guilt that deception brings, and this precisely that enables us to stand firmly, without fear of being caught in contradictions or having to maintain a false narrative.

Truth may not always be easy, but it is always right, and in speaking truthfully, we honor ourselves and those around us, creating space and a world where trust prevails over doubt, and sincerity over pretense. Just as the choice was mine today and will be everyday, the choice is yours too, to carry the heavy burden of lies or to walk freely in the light of truth.

And I would like to quote a section from one of my favorite Podcasts The Daily Stoic: We Aren’t Rational, We Become Rational: There is a strong element of Stoicism in this. Although Marcus and Epictetus and Seneca spoke of living in accordance with nature, they knew how unnaturally this came to most people. They knew how much work it was to get to that higher self, to transcend our baser instincts and emotions. Epictetus said we must put every impression to the test, to say to it, “hold on a moment, let me see who you are and what you represent.” To stop and put it to the test takes an effort.

And finally let me say like Apostle Paul, or rather let me ask: “Do you lie sometimes? Tell the truth sometimes? What kind of a person are you? What type of person do you present yourself to be? And what type of person do you want to be? A TRUTH-TELLER AT ALL TIMES?”

How One Small Lie Put A BIG Weight On My Chest

What Is a Lie – The Obvious