I am sure just like me, you have also heard the mantra “Don’t settle for less” a lot and everywhere. It is in self-help books, social media quotes, and motivational speeches, in fact I also have an article on that. And it is not bad advice, no one should compromise their worth or accept mediocrity when they deserve better.

But here is the catch: While raising the bar for what we expect from others is good, the harder question is whether we are raising the bar for ourselves. In the pursuit of “not settling,” some forget the most important part; that we ourselves can easily become the “less” we warn against.

High Standards Without Self-Work Is Entitlement

It is easy to demand loyalty, respect, generosity, and excellence from others, but do we reflect the same qualities? Wanting a faithful partner, for example, means nothing if we do not practice faithfulness ourselves. Expecting excellence at work means little if we cut corners when no one is watching.

So and again, the truth is that high standards without self-work lead to entitlement. And entitlement destroys relationships, careers, and personal growth. The first step to not settling for less is ensuring you are not bringing less to the table.

Everyone knows people who believe that everything revolves around their desires and requirements. They act like the world owes them everything and tend to throw fits when things don’t go their way. They do not seem to follow the same standards themselves as they set for everybody else. These are the types of people who operate from an entitlement mentality. Understanding how to deal with people like this effectively is crucial, or else your life could be disrupted quickly and inexplicably. In a sense, sometimes, we all have this to a degree.

An entitlement mentality is a belief that you are owed something and do not need to put in a lot or even any effort to get it. In a way, it is a familiar feeling to some extent. For instance, it’s normal for us to expect people to treat us like we are intellectual and have a heart, but that expectation does not always result in us receiving what we would like. Well-adjusted adults understand this and can manage disappointments that may occur.

Continue Reading: Entitlement Mentality: No One Owes You Anything!

The Mirror Test: Becoming the Person You’re Looking For

Instead of asking, “Am I getting what I deserve?”, a better question is, “Am I becoming the kind of person who deserves what I desire?” This is the mirror test: If you want honesty, are you radically honest? If you want stability, are you disciplined in your own life? If you want love, do you extend love without conditions?

The mirror does not lie; it reflects whether our actions align with our expectations and growth happens when we shift the focus from demanding to developing.

Self-awareness can be a strange thing; it’s like trying to catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror that keeps moving fast. Sometimes, I think I understand who I am, and then, the moment I try to analyze it, I lose it; I’m wondering if you ever feel that way, do you? Like when you sit down to reflect, or practice self-introspection, but the more you observe yourself, the less sure you are of whether you’re seeing the real you or just the version of you that knows it’s being watched?

This paradox, like almost every other paradox, fascinates me. I can remember that when I was younger, I tried to journal, trying to map out my thoughts and emotions to understand myself better, but at times, I would wonder: Am I writing down what I truly feel, or am I subconsciously creating and organizing my thoughts just for this sake and because I know they’ll be read back? Even if it’s just by me? And many times this is the same way we act in front of others; there’s always that voice in the back of our minds monitoring what we say, how we move, how we’re being perceived. And I wonder when do I stop performing? Even when I am alone, and am I still playing some kind of role?

Continue Reading: The Paradox Of Self-Awareness: The Observer And The Observed

Growth Over Comparison: Becoming More, Not Proving More

Sometimes, “not settling for less” is really about comparing ourselves to others, wanting more money, a better relationship, or a bigger platform, but real fulfillment comes not from proving we are ahead, but from knowing we have grown.

That means prioritizing habits over hype, integrity over image, and progress over perfection. You do not have to be flawless; you just have to be committed to becoming more than you were yesterday.

I don’t think there is anyone that does not love the idea of success, irrespective of our individual definition of what success is or might be. Most people just admire the highlight reels, the big wins, the stories of people who seem to have “made it.” But what we rarely see is the grind, the quiet, often unglamorous act of simply showing up, day after day, even when the feelings are not there.

My dearest reader, the truth is this, motivation is fleeting or can be, it comes and goes. Some mornings you wake up ready to conquer the world; other times, you would rather hide under the covers. But you see, success does not come to those who wait for motivation; it comes to those who show up regardless of how they feel. And so one of the most underrated skills in life is not talent, intelligence, or even passion; it is the simple or rather not so simple  disciplined act to keep showing up, and this is precisely why motivation fails and consistency wins.

Continue Reading: Keep Showing Up: The Most Underrated Skill for Success in Life

Read Also: Newton’s First Law for Personal Growth: Start Moving, Stay Moving

Read Also: Ways To Invest in Yourself And Build A Better Life

Read Also: The Art of Intellectual Humility – Aristotle

Conclusion

The call to not settle for less is powerful, but it is incomplete; the other half is just as important: Make sure you are not the less you do not want to settle for.

Because life’s greatest respect does not come from what others give you, but from what you give yourself through growth, discipline, and integrity. When you focus on becoming better and not just demanding better, you step into the kind of life where settling for less is no longer even an option.

So my dearest readers, here is the challenge: Stop asking only what the world owes you. Start asking who you need to become to attract, build, and sustain the life you say you want.