From afar I used to admire those who took bold risks, who pursued their dreams despite the odds, and I always assumed that it’s likely that they had something I didn’t, probably more confidence, more talent, or maybe just more luck. It took me years to realize that the only real difference between them and me was one thing: they stepped into the arena while I hesitated at the edge, and this was in the past, gladly not anymore, but I’ll like to tell you a bit about that past.
There was a time when I played it safe, when the fear of failure held me back from truly stepping into the arena of my own life. I watched from the sidelines, critiquing my own untried ideas, telling and trying to convince myself that perfection was a prerequisite to action, but fortunately, life has a way of teaching you that the real growth, the real fulfillment, comes from getting in the fight even when you’re not sure you’ll win, real growth and fulfillment comes from being the boxer in the arena.
Ryan Holiday went further to ask the exact same question, why should one do this? He talked about an exchange in Chicago, the new book by David Mamet (a fan of Stoicism), that captures the reasons well; where the characters, having found themselves on the wrong side of a mob war, are arming themselves and discussing where to hide a pistol for protection; then one reminds the other that “the one phrase you never want to use” when trouble arises, is “Wait here ‘till I fetch it.” Ryan Holiday went further to say in that episode that Marcus Aurelius would say something similar; that philosophy was designed to make us a boxer and not a swordsman, because a boxer is built with his weapon in hand(s) whereas a fencer has to fetch theirs.
Continue Reading: Why You Should Consistently Do The Work: Be The Boxer
I remember one particular moment when this truth hit me hardest. It was a project I had poured my heart into, something I believed in deeply, structure of my writing, how to go about it, what to do it such a way that I will get the Google Adsense approval. I had spent months crafting it, refining every detail, envisioning the success I longed for, and then came the first rejection, second rejection, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, I’m not even kidding, I lost count, still applying over 1 year and yet to get approval, I started to feel very frustrated, I thought to myself, this is a big flopped, it took my friends not more than 7 months to get approved, but that’s not the point. The rejections and the feedback was brutal; the doubts crept in like unwelcome guests, whispering that maybe I wasn’t good enough, that maybe I should have never tried at all.
And then I left it, and for a while, I let that failure define me; it affected my drive to do somethings else, something new, you know failing and refusing to see it as opportunity to do better, just failing and taking it to heart, the pain after so many promising thoughts, steps, plans and action, the failure that might come after it has a way of eating you up and eating into other areas of your life, and so I let it keep me on the sidelines, afraid to try again. But then I stumbled upon Theodore Roosevelt’s words: The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena… who strives valiantly… who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.
That quote shook me awake and I realized that I had been avoiding the very thing that makes life meaningful the building and aiming for success that comes with the risk of failure, and the lessons found and learnt in the pursuit itself. Failure or in my case, the rejection won’t wasn’t proof that I wasn’t capable, I chose to look at it as proof that I had the courage to try, and that I can continue to try and believed that I will evetunally get it, and a little over 2 years I got it, amongst other pursuit.
So I stepped back into the arena, I started again, but this time with the understanding that success isn’t about perfection, but persistence learning, building and correction, alongside that I took on new challenges, embraced the discomfort that came with the learning, and let go of the need to control every outcome. And you know what? I failed again, and again, again, and again, Lol, but each time, I learnt and if I’m honest I’m not even sure what I learnt, I just told myself that I leanrt, you could consistency, persistency, the boldness to try again, and with each time uping my game, and sharpening mind, being the boxer in the arena, throwing more and more punches as the rejections kept punching. Each time, I grew, and each time, I felt more alive than I ever had watching safely from the sidelines.
The more uncomfortable an activity is, the more likely it is to lead to expansion and growth; however, the more relaxed the activity, the more likely it is to cause stagnation. – Discomfort Razor
Continue Reading: Philosophical Razors That Will Sharpen Your Mind | Critical Thinking
But before then, like I said before, for a while, I had let the fear of failure keep me on the sidelines. I worried about what others would think, about whether I was good enough. But watching from a distance was never fulfilling. Real growth happens when you’re willing to take risks, to put yourself out there even when success isn’t guaranteed, step out of your comfort zone.
The comfort zone is a mental condition in which an individual is at ease since they’re not being tested.
Within the comfort zone, people rarely explore new things or face any difficulties. They are only involved in activities that they are used to, which makes them believe that they are in control of their surroundings.
Most people remain within their comfort zones to prevent feelings of anxiety, pain, stress, and tension. Anything outside of our comfort zone causes uncertainty, making us nervous. Human beings are naturally wired to stay away from these emotions. This is why they are uneasy about stepping out of their comfort zone.
As cozy as it may seem, this safe bubble prevents people from advancing their personal lives and doing what they would like but don’t want to pursue.
As an example, settling into an unfulfilling position for a long time can leave you feeling exhausted and unengaged. Yet, it’s become your comfort zone. You’re confident that you can do more, but the idea of venturing beyond your comfort zone and challenging your limits is scary because it entails an element of uncertainty.
Continue Reading: Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enter The Growth Zone
I won’t pretend that stepping out of your comfort zone and into the arena is easy. It’s sometimes messy, it gets uncomfortable very fast, and sometimes it can be full of setbacks and uncertainty, but it’s also where life happens. It’s where we discover our strengths, our passions, and our resilience, and no matter how many times we stumble, we are always better for having tried. Rememeber from Theodore Roosevelt’s words: The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena… who strives valiantly… who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.
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Conclusion
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: The critics will always be there sometimes it’s your mind and sometimes it’s other people. The doubts might will never fully disappear for some people, but none of that matters. What matters is that we show up, we give it our all, our very best, and we dare greatly because a life spent in the arena, no matter how many times we stumble, is always better than a life spent in fear of the fight.
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
Theodore Roosevelt
So, if you’re hesitating, if you’re afraid to fail, step in anyway, stop holding back, stop waiting for the perfect moment; Take the risk! Face the challenge!! Get your hands dirty!!! It won’t always be easy, but with calculated steps it will always be worth it. What matters is that you dared greatly; because in the end, it’s not the spectator who counts, not the man in the sidelines, it’s the one who had the courage to enter the arena and be the boxer!!!
This really hit me right in the soul; there is something deeply moving about the way you framed this article, how it’s not the critic who matters, but the one actually “in the arena.”
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve hesitated to put myself out there because of the fear of failing or even worse, being criticized, but reading this made me feel like failure isn’t the real enemy; it’s actually never trying at all, and I can tell that the imagery of “dust and sweat and blood” really stuck with me. It makes me want to push harder, to strive for something bigger, even if I stumble along the way.
Value Faith, thank you for sharing this. This is the kind of perspective that stays with you, please keep writing this kind of message is needed more than ever.