Obviously I am sure we can agree that we live in an age of endless arguments, both online and offline. Everyone wants to be right, to prove their point, to “win,” but in the rush to be understood, we most of the time forget to truly understand. And precisely in that space between the rush, the haste and the pride lies one of the most common and destructive habits in human communication: The Strawman Fallacy.
The Strawman fallacy happens when we misrepresent someone’s argument to make it easier to attack. Instead of addressing what they actually said, we twist it into something simpler, weaker, or more extreme, and then proudly tear that down. It is the illusion of victory but it is built on a lie.
But this is the real danger: We do not just do this to others, we also many many times let others do it to us, and worse, sometimes we even do it to ourselves.
What is a Strawman and Why We Build It
Imagine someone says, “We should take better care of the environment.” A Strawman reply might be, “So you think we should just shut down all factories and live in caves?”
And No, that is not what they said, but exaggerating or distorting their point makes it easier to ridicule and beat down. It is an old tactic and as tempting as it is destructive.
Why do we do it?
- Because it feels easier to win against a simplified version of someone’s argument.
- Because our ego prefers an easy victory to a fair challenge.
- Because understanding, truly understanding, takes humility, patience, and effort.
But the moment we build a Strawman, we stop engaging with truth. We stop listening.
The Ego’s Defense Mechanism
But after taking so much time to think about it, I can in all honesty, at least for me, say that most Strawmen fallacies do not come from deliberate deceit; they come from defensiveness. When someone challenges our beliefs, our minds rush to protect our sense of self. So instead of calmly analyzing their perspective, we instinctively distort and reduce it into something absurd, then knock it down.
It is our way of saying, “I am still right. I am still safe.” But that self-defense mechanism has a cost: It prevents growth. Because to grow, you must be willing to face arguments that unsettle you. You must engage with them honestly, not their strawman version or imitations.
The Stoics warned against this trap long before modern psychology gave it a name; they understood that ego blinds us to truth, deafens us to feedback, and builds walls where bridges should be. It convinces us we already know enough, that we are always right, and that humility is weakness, but history, philosophy, and experience all point to the same truth: Ego is the real enemy of growth, connection, and wisdom. And until we confront it, we will never see the world or ourselves clearly.
One of the early members of Alcoholics Anonymous defined ego as “a conscious separation from.” From what? From everything and everyone including our own nature.
When ego takes the wheel, it distances us from reality; it makes us arrogant, selfish, and shortsighted. We become mean in spirit, superficial in thought, and insecure. In short, we become everything a Stoic strives not to be.
Continue Reading: Why Ego is Your Enemy
When Others Build Strawmen Against You
It is not just something we do; it is also very very much something that is many many times done to us.
You might share a thought in good faith, and someone twists it into something you never meant to say. And then you might feel frustrated, unseen, maybe even angry; this is the pain of being “strawmanned,” of having your meaning misrepresented.
So what should you do?
Resist the urge to retaliate with another distortion or beatdown version of their argument, and instead, calmly clarify: “That is not what I said. Let me restate my point.”
You do not owe them hostility and most certainly you do not have to react with hostility. You owe yourself clarity! Do not let someone else define your words or your intent.
The Strawman Within
This is the most subtle form: Sometimes, we build Strawmen inside our own minds. We misrepresent our past selves, our fears, or our doubts because it is easier to dismiss them than to face them.
You might tell yourself, “I was so stupid back then,” when in truth, you were doing the best you could with what you knew. That is an internal Strawman, an attack on a distorted version of yourself.
So my dearest readers: Be careful with that. Growth requires honesty, not self-caricature.
The Antidote: Steelmanning
If and since the Strawman fallacy weakens understanding, the opposite; the Steelmanning technique strengthens it.
To steelman someone’s argument means to restate it in its strongest, most reasonable form, even stronger than they did, before responding. It is what philosophers and wise thinkers do; it is how truth-seekers argue, because the goal is not to win; it is to understand.
When we learn to steelman, we build bridges where others burn them; we invite dialogue, not division, and we grow, not by defeating others, but by understanding them deeply.
The Call to Listen
Every conversation is a test of humility. Do you want to just be right, or do you want to learn? Do you want to argue, or understand?
The Strawman fallacy is easy; it boosts and flatters your pride, but truth is hard, and it will humble you.
So my dearest readers; the next time you feel the urge to argue, pause. Ask: “Am I responding to what they really said or what I wish they said?” And that small question might save your relationships, your credibility, and your peace of mind.
Read Also: Logical Fallacies: Types, Examples, How to Identify and Avoid Them
Read Also: Fundamental Attribution Error: What It Is And How to Avoid It
Read Also: Truth Has Rules: The Basic Laws of Logic and Objective Thinking
Conclusion
The world does not need more clever arguments, what it needs is more honest listeners. When we stop building Strawmen, we begin building understanding. When we stop misrepresenting others, we start representing truth.
And in that truth, you will find something stronger than victory; you will find wisdom. Because the goal of every discussion is not to silence the other side; it is to seek what is real, together.
