Words are never just words you know; they shape how we see the world, how we relate to one another, and how we build or destroy trust. A single phrase can heal or wound, bring clarity or confusion, unite or divide. That is why philosophers, theologians, and ethicists across centuries from the Stoics to the Scriptures have warned us to guard our speech carefully.
In the modern study of language, the philosopher Lorenzo D’Ambrosio coined the term “Manipulative Underspecification.” It describes the subtle but powerful way someone can use vague, slippery language to gain an advantage. Instead of committing and using clear words, they leave their statements underspecified, open to multiple interpretations, so they can later deny responsibility or shift blame, if they want to for whatever reason. In essence, their vagueness is NOT innocent; it is calculated, and sometimes very calculated.
And trust me when I say this idea is not just abstract philosophy; it has profound ethical weight. The Stoics, for instance, taught that clarity and truthfulness are central to living a virtuous life. Marcus Aurelius urged, “If it is not right, do not do it; if it is not true, do not say it.” And I add to that by saying: To intentionally speak without clarity is to live without integrity, and when we fail to hold ourselves to the discipline of honest speech, we open the door to manipulation, both by others and within ourselves.
The Philosophy Behind Vagueness: What D’Ambrosio Revealed
At its heart, manipulative underspecification is about control. When someone speaks vaguely, they protect themselves by avoiding commitment; they say just enough to suggest meaning but not enough to be pinned down, and later, if challenged, they can shift their words by saying “That is not what I meant” or “You misunderstood me.”
D’Ambrosio identified this not as an innocent slip of the tongue, but as a deliberate strategy; it is a way of weaponizing vagueness, and if we are honest, it is something we have all seen, perhaps even practiced ourselves. Like a manager promises “We will see about that raise soon” without any intention of clarity. Or a friend says “I will help when I can” but quietly leaves themselves an escape plan just in case or knowing fully well that they won’t. And the very very obvious one, in politics, entire speeches are crafted to sound inspiring but avoiding concrete commitments.
The Stoics would call this a failure of virtue, because words, after all, are a moral act. When you speak, you owe your listener clarity and truth, and anything less, especially when intentional becomes a form of dishonesty. Seneca warned that deception, even by silence or ambiguity, poisons trust, and trust, once broken, is painfully slow to rebuild.
And practically, vague speech leaves the hearer vulnerable, when someone avoids clarity, they force you to carry the burden of interpretation. You fill in the blanks with your own hopes, assumptions, or fears and that is exactly how manipulation works; the speaker remains safe, while you risk disappointment, confusion, or betrayal. Recognizing this dynamic is not just about pointing fingers at others; it is also very very much about self-examination; how often do you leave your own words underspecified because you do not want to disappoint, or because you fear conflict? You may not mean to manipulate, but you end up creating the same fog of misunderstanding, and in doing so, you are trading short-term comfort for long-term killing of trust.
Everyday Manipulation: How to Spot Vague Control Tactics
Just like other forms of manipulations, manipulative underspecification is not always obvious at first. In fact, or even funny, its power lies in how ordinary it feels; the words seem reasonable until you stop to ask, “Wait, what exactly does that mean?” And that what i want us to look at, so here are some of the most common tactics you will notice in daily life:
The Half-Promise
It is very very likely that we have all used this one before, I know I have “I will see what I can do.” It sounds supportive, but it is really a non-commitment; if the person never follows through, they can always claim they never promised anything.
The Fog of Generalities
“We will get to it soon.” or “Things will work out eventually.” These statements sound reassuring but sometimes they are deliberately vague, because when will it happen? How will it work out? There is no detail, no accountability.
The Escape Hatch Phrase
Words like “maybe,” “probably,” “might,” or “I will try” can soften speech but they also create built-in excuses. If challenged, the speaker can retreat into, “I never said I would for sure.”
The Shifting Definition
Someone can say, “We agreed on this,” but when you point out specifics, the definition has suddenly changed, by leaving terms open-ended, they keep control over interpretation.
The Deflection to You
“That is not what I meant, you misunderstood.” Instead of clarifying upfront, vague communicators will shift blame to the listener when confusion arises, and you might end up doubting yourself instead of holding them accountable.
From the outside, these tactics might seem harmless, but trust me when I say over time, they suffocate clarity, trust, and fairness in relationships. Whether in friendships, workplaces, or families, being on the receiving end of such speech can leave you second-guessing yourself.
And to all of that I will simply say: Do not get trapped in the fog; if someone is being vague, ask questions! Press for details! Make the implicit explicit! Because clarity protects you, while vagueness almost always benefits the other person.
The Ethical Alternative: Choosing Clarity Over Control
If manipulative underspecification thrives in the fog, then the antidote, obviously, is light. Clear speech! Honest words! Direct commitments! It sounds simple, but in practice, it is one of the hardest disciplines to cultivate, and why is that? Because clarity makes us accountable. It removes the comfortable escape opening that vague language provides.
From a Stoic and ethical standpoint, choosing clarity in speech is about more than just communication skills; it is about integrity. Marcus Aurelius reminded himself daily: “If it is not right, do not do it; if it is not true, do not say it.” And to that I add: Words are moral acts, and every time we speak, we are either reinforcing trust or quietly undermining it.
Here are some practical commitments we can make:
Say what you mean. Mean what you say
Instead of “I will try to make it,” say “I won’t be able to come” or “Yes, I will be there at 7.” It may feel blunt at first, but honesty is always kinder than false hope.
Define the terms
If you are making an agreement, spell out what it actually means. “I will finish the report by Friday at noon,” is very different from “I will get the report to you soon.” One creates accountability, the other creates confusion.
Don’t hide behind “nice” vagueness
Sometimes we soften our words to avoid discomfort: “Maybe we should think and talk about this later.” But sometimes, that is just avoidance. True kindness does not dodge clarity; it delivers truth with compassion.
Let grace guide your tone
Clarity does not mean harshness; you can be both honest and gentle. The goal is not to win or control, but to respect the other person enough to speak plainly.
I am sure you must have heard the saying, “It is not what you say, it is how you say it.” And it is true, words alone are not just enough, because two people can say the exact same sentence, but one leaves you feeling encouraged while the other leaves you feeling insulted; the difference does not lie in the content but in the delivery.
Communication they say is more than just the transfer of information; it is the transfer of emotion, intent, and respect. So a sharp tone can turn truth into a weapon, while a gentle one can turn correction into guidance; this is why the way we speak, our tone, our body language, and the spirit behind our words often matters far more than the words themselves, and when we understand this, we begin to realize that how we speak can build bridges or burn them, heal or wound, inspire or discourage. And in a world where relationships, trust, and influence are everything, how you say something truly makes all the difference.
Continue Reading: It Does Not Matter Only What You Say; It Matters Greatly How You Say It
When we practice this kind of clarity, we not only resist manipulation but we also model a higher way of being, and most importantly, in faith terms, it is about letting our “yes” be yes and our “no” be no (Matthew 5:37). Anything less, as Jesus warned, comes from a place of brokenness. Clear speech is a form of love! It honors the other person with truth, just as we wish to be honored! And in a world full of foggy words, choosing to speak plainly is one of the most radical and revolutionary acts of integrity we can commit to!
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Conclusion
Words shape the world we live in; they can build bridges or walls, cultivate trust or erase it, liberate or control. D’Ambrosio’s insight into manipulative underspecification tells us how easily vague words can become tools of power, leaving others guessing while we try or hope to protect ourselves, without being honest and lacking integrity. But the ethical call is higher: To use our words as instruments of clarity, truth, and service.
Everyday life constantly tempts us to bend the truth with soft edges, to dodge responsibility with foggy words and promises, or to keep control by keeping things unclear. But, when we pause and reflect, we know that integrity cannot thrive in half-truths. To live well, to love others well, is to resist the fog and choose the light of plain speech.
Clarity may cost us more in the moment; it may require courage, humility, and vulnerability but it gives back something far greater: Trust, respect, and peace of mind, because in the end, clarity is not just a communication technique; it is a way of living honestly, honoring God and others with words that mean what they say.
So to you, my dearest readers, the next time you feel tempted to leave something “unspecified,” ask yourself: Am I protecting love and integrity or am I protecting myself at the expense of truth? Because in that moment, you have a choice, and that choice, as small as it may seem, is what makes all the difference between manipulation and meaning, between shadows and light.